Valentine
by Melodious-Nocturne3
Summary: Originally from The Average Life of a Pokédex Holder, but it was banished because of its plain terribleness. But I can't bring myself to get rid of it completely, so I'm leaving it here. Read at your own risk - it just gets really stupid. (Left unedited, so...)


**A/N:**

**This one will focus on OldRival for once, and not be super short. (Curse the complexity of Green being romantically involved with someone – particularly Blue.) Ah well. They'll be the typical guys, by the way (kind of giving up on writing DPPt and BW ships here), and definitely some time after Emerald. I guess the Feb. 14 after the previous chapter.**

**In honor of Valentine's Day, even though I thought of it only a few hours before posting this update. You should never underestimate the amazingness (and extreme ridiculousness) of a chapter written by a tired person. Yep – I'm tired, and I'm totally posting this raw. For Valentine's Day. The holiday deserves a joke of a shot.**

**(P.S. The drunkenness is meant to be a joke. I know alcohol doesn't work like this at all – and I'm probably about to look like the tired fool I am right now – but I'm purposely sticking to stereotypes and making drunkenness a plot device.)**

* * *

Green had no idea how this always happened.

_Honestly,_ he thought grimly. _Someone other than Blue needs to arrange the enjoyable gatherings, or else it is never going to end well. Like now, for instance._

How did he know this? Because he had just opened the door to his grandfather's dim office, and he could clearly hear the sounds of two people making out. _In his grandfather's office._

Blue was going to be dead.

He kicked the intruding couple out.

**. . .**

_A few hours ago..._

"Doesn't this seem a bit too much?"

Yellow gestured helplessly at Professor Oak's lab, which the Pokédex Holders were using for the night as the site of their Valentine's Day party, which absolutely embarrassed almost every one of them because: 1) a date was apparently required to go, and 2) the place looked absolutely ridiculous. Most of the time, no one understood what went on in Blue's mind, and now was certainly not an exception.

The lab entrance had red décor positively draped all over it, heart-shaped laurels entwined with roses hanging around the door. There were even little heart-shaped lights of varying sizes blinking red.

"I personally think that's an understatement," Green added to Yellow's comment.

"At least Blue didn't make us wear something fancy."

Red was right about that – everyone was wearing whatever they wanted to, most of that meaning regular outfits. In fact, only Ruby really dressed even slightly different, and that was just a bow tie added to his usual clothing because he knew that Sapphire didn't really care for tuxes and also that everyone else would do exactly what did happen, meaning he would stand out. In a Contest, that wasn't too bad a thing, but a party was much different.

"I think it looks gorgeous, Blue," Ruby said politely, glancing over at his senior.

Sapphire arched an eyebrow at him like he was crazy, but Ruby shot back an even more 'are you crazy' look. She conceded reluctantly.

"Thanks – at least one person appreciates my decorating."

Blue glared at everyone else menacingly. It really did take a lot of work, and she didn't want anyone – even her friends – taking it for granted, much less actually hating it. The planning and set-up was tiring when you did most of it by yourself, even if it was all really part of some nefarious matchmaking scheme with – whoops, saying too much.

Most of them then proceeded to complement the lab entrance.

**. . .**

_One hour later..._

"Gold, you have to try this punch!"

Gold looked at Crystal suspiciously. She seemed to be... strangely off somehow. He couldn't quite place it. Maybe it was that her cheeks were flushed red even though he hadn't done anything to embarrass her yet, or maybe that she was now impolitely forcing the cup of punch into his hands. It was making the red liquid slosh a bit over the brim. Yes, it was definitely that.

"Crys, are you okay?" he asked, puzzled.

She smiled at Gold reassuringly and nodded, too busy taking a swig from her own cup to respond. Yep, definitely something wrong. Crystal would take small sips, not down the whole drink in one gulp.

He would've totally said something about it to her and even opened his mouth to do it, but then he completely forgot where he was and what he was doing there except for the fact that Crys was totally kissing him on the mouth.

_Holy crap, there is definitely something wrong,_ Gold thought, but then the freaking kiss.

He was so dazed from the lip contact afterwards that he drank the whole cup of punch Crystal had given him without a second thought and went back for more.

**. . .**

_Another hour later..._

"And then – and then–"

Yellow hiccupped multiple times in a row, clutching onto Red's arm for support even though both of them were laughing so hard that he could hardly help her and keep his own unsteady self from falling at the same time. Not to mention that they were both holding their who-knows-what-number cup of punch, both drained of some already.

"He tripped! And the punch, it, it spilled! All down her shirt! And–" Yellow hiccupped again. "– And she roared... like, like _roared_! And he just screamed and–"

Red's legs finally gave way and the two toppled to the floor, surrounded by Dex Holders just as drunk as them but not quite to the tiles yet. Punch proceeded to stain their clothing as it dripped out of their cups and onto them. They laughed hysterically.

"Yellow," Red said once the stream of laughing had slowed, his speech a bit slurred.

"Wh–" She hiccupped. "What?"

"I, I have to tell you something."

"What?"

"M-Misty, she, like, is pretty cool. But you..." Red's voice trailed off as he seemed to lose his train of thought.

"What?!" Yellow looked on the verge of tears. "Y-You're in – in love with her, aren't you?!"

Red snapped back to – his albeit drunken – reality. And then he yanked Yellow's head down and proceeded to have their first kiss.

**. . .**

Green watched from the sidelines, probably the only person there who was the closest to being sober. Unfortunately, Blue had slipped him a cup of the punch earlier when the book he was reading (Giovanni's) distracted him. He hadn't realized it was laced with some form of alcohol until he consciously tasted the last sip.

He sighed at the sight of Red and Yellow making out on the floor.

There was no actual cure for drunkenness, unfortunately, except for time. It would probably be the next day by the time the alcohol wore off and left everyone here with a hangover. Blue would suffer her just punishment then.

But this group's welfare was Green's responsibility, seeing as how Red's current... condition forfeited the role to him.

And for goodness' sake, all of this was happening in his grandfather's laboratory. He had been trusted with it for the night. Blue should at least get the job of cleaning up afterwards, what with the mess she caused from her punch.

He scanned the dim room, trying his hardest to let his eyes just pass over the ridiculous things everyone else was doing.

There – a door left slightly open. It led to his grandfather's office.

Green walked over, proceeded to kick Gold and Crystal out of the room (_honestly, her first?_), and looked around for another hint at where Blue might be.

He honestly felt like killing her. But that was probably a feeling influenced by the small amount of alcohol he had consumed.

Green eventually found her sitting on a couch, sipping her own cup of punch, and watching the events before her unfold. He could've sworn that Blue hadn't been there earlier. And it also seemed that she could hold her alcohol well, since she wasn't tipsy or, really, anything like the others. In fact, she almost seemed as in-control as Green himself. Maybe Blue just hadn't drunk that much. Wouldn't be surprising.

"You know the others are going to kill you for this."

Sitting down on the couch next to her, he watched her closely.

Blue set her cup down on the table in front of her. "Yeah," she replied casually.

Green rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I don't know where or how you got the alcohol, and I don't want to know. But you are going to have to clean this up yourself. It's only fair."

"It's not my fault that they drank the punch. They didn't have to, at least."

"But they did. And you were the one who brought the punch in the first place. You didn't have to add something that could make them drunk."

"Ah, the world. So full of 'didn't have to's and 'not my fault's."

"Don't change the subject."

The two eyed each other carefully, unsure of what move the other would make.

They pretty much stood off like that for the rest of the party; as in, until the two gave up staring at each other and just watched the other Pokédex Holders go crazy until they all eventually passed out. Soon after, Blue fell asleep with her head resting on a still-awake Green's shoulder.

**. . .**

There was the sound of jingling keys and Professor Oak locked the door before realizing that the door had never been locked after the party and grumbled under his breath, unlocking the door again so he could get in. Curiously enough, the party decorations were still up around the entrance, and he was wondering why.

The old professor was treated to a grand sight when he walked in and saw almost everyone passed out and covered in either punch or each other.

Only Green and Blue rested on the couch, Green having finally succumbed to sleep with an arm around Blue's shoulders.

* * *

**A/N:**

**I bet when I read this again in the morning, I'll be trying to understand exactly what the heck my tired brain just typed up for you guys. Oh well. I'm too tired to change it and I doubt I could really make it better.**

**I hope you enjoyed that a lot better than I did.**

**~ Melody**


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